When saying ‘please’ is more strategic than magic

By kindergarten age, most children have been taught that ‘please’ is a magic word. ‘Please’ is an expression of politeness that shows courtesy and respect, turning a potential demand into a request that will — poof! — magically be granted. But a new study on the ways people make requests of one another suggests that ‘please’ might not be an all-purpose marker of politeness, but rather a more focused, strategic tool to manage frictions or obstacles among family members, friends and even coworkers. The study shows that people say ‘please’ much less often than expected, and mostly when they expect a ‘no’ response is forthcoming. …read more